In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
