he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
