Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
