you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
