you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
