I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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