I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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