There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
