So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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