I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
