just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize