he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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