Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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