Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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