Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
When are your genitals available?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
