you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
