She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
only if we run a train.
done.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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