you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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