So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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