I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
