Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
