He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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