I'm really into asian looking animals
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
