I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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