They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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