hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Damn victory sex feels great
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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