There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
