Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
