i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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