he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize