I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
