So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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