you're like a bully in the Christmas story
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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