I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize