are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
