found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
