I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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