like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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