she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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