Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
