I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
