went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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