can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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