Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
