You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you win again, gameday.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
