in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
