Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
