so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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