I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize