I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
