he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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