we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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