There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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