You're completely useless in the revolution.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i drank out of a bidet.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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