I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
