Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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