Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize