I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I can't put those talents on a resume
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Randomize
