Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
