omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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