The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
