she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
