If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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