Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
