youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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