Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
